Posted in Personal growth

A Thankful Thanksgiving 2019

Photo by Caleb Wood on Pexels.com
November 27, 2018. 1st discharge. SLLPtuffed toy as consolation from hospital gift shop. Next destination: pick up Whole Foods holiday meal for Thanksgiving dinner next day.

What a year it’s been. It started with a big cloud looming over my head. Our family had just surfaced from a traumatic 2018 November and December when Ellis got hospitalized for abdominal migraine 3x’s in 2 months. Until this time, we’ve never heard of abdominal migraine or knew of its diagnosis.

I didn’t realize the extent of its overwhelming nature until we had been home for a few weeks. Once everything settled, a tsunami of sadness overtook me and the years of care-taking stress just hit the fan.

Great thing is that we’ve only had 1 hospitalization this year. I am so grateful for this. It’s the worst feeling when your child keeps getting sicker and you have no choice but to beeline to the ER and gets admitted. We cope but it’s difficult to account for sudden life disruptions.

2nd discharge. December 2018
3rd discharge. Ecstatic and ready for Santa’s presents. December 2018
December 2018: Play room at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital

You just go, go, go. This year’s hospitalization landed on our vacation to San Diego and on Mother’s Day. When the nurse mentioned mother’s day, Ellis wished me a good mother’s day as I sat in the hospital bed next to her crying my eyes out. I couldn’t believe the situation: Ellis writhing in stomach pain, Elliot acting like he was not sad that Legoland trip may be postponed, and Chris trying to keep us all intact in case we decide to continue with our vacation or go back home.

May 2019. On our way to Legoland…a blip on our journey.

These various kinds of emotions teach me that parents cry for their children in good and bad times. Difficult as it is, I find it a blessing to have this privilege.

Made it to Legoland…Ellis got sick again here and when her condition improved, I started crying with relief. Then, totally happy posing for this picture. Emotional roller coaster. May 2019

The strangest thing is that in these times I have incomprehensible peace. They make up some of my sweetest memories of bonding with Ellis, spending quality time with Elliot when he visits with Chris in the evening, and tag teaming with Chris. There’s a fluidity that only God can provide to us in these situations.

Thankful for much this year. Good days, bad days, in-between days. In those bad and in-between days, thankful for people who lift up my spirits. These incidents are reminders that God is faithful and works through people to show his love.

The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. Psalmm 29:11

And thankful for Whole Foods’ holiday packaged meals. Thankful for family, friends, neighbors, community, hospitals, teachers, kind strangers, Starbucks drive-thru, memories made with friends and family. And of course, thankful for God who loves me (when I have a hard time loving myself) despite my flaws, quirks, and silliness.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Wishing you a joyful and gratitude-filled day.

Thank you awesome readers for your encouragement, friendship, and visiting my blog. You readers make my blogging journey rewarding and enjoyable!

Author:

Writing and daydreaming have always been two of my favorite things to do. I've been an avid journal writer since junior high school. It was a way for me to survive the complex world of being a Korean-American female straddling two cultures. Journal writing continued through graduate school, but that luxury is now replaced with multitasking to raise and homeschool two young kids. As the self-proclaimed domestic C.E.O. of our home, personal reflection occurs mostly in my subconscious dreams, during solo grocery shopping runs, or when my husband Chris takes the kids to Costco for an afternoon trip.

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