A decade almost over. To think that I’m decades old is definitely sobering. 🙂
My goodness, life has been an adventurous ride for our family these past 10 years. It would be nice if I had a memorable saying, insight packed message to share with you, but the mind goes haywire trying to narrow it down.
Every end of the year, I reflect on all the big highlights. So this time around I’ll try to point out some major ones that rocked my world this decade. There’s more, but for brevity sake the following is a quick snap of those experiences.
- Realized the academic route was not for me. Painful to realize at the time after so many years dreaming and preparing for some future unknown role in academia. Thought my degree would transform my life…graduated and discovered that nothing changed. Very anticlimactic.
- Wanted to pursue freelance writing, like writing essays or articles, but the path seemed laden with unknowns. Where do you even start? Too overwhelmed. And all the talk of building a social platform freaked me out. Blogging wishes stirred but it took me six years to actually embark.
- Became a lucky mom to my 2 amazing and loving kids. I didn’t know this kind of happy love was possible until they came into my world. On the other hand, I’m learning that being a mother means not always being liked by your kids for saying no and teaching them…looking out for their best interest makes you boring and not the most likeable person. That’s ok with me though…
- Chris and I have been married for over a decade and we still like each other. He’s my forever and I’ll choose him all over again. Ok, this is corny, but here it is. I mainly drink iced coffee since years back. So…he is the ice for my coffee that brings the drink to a perfect coolness. When we squabble over how to load the dishwasher or other irrelevant things that seem relevant at the time, I tell myself (as learned from our marriage bible study series) “my spouse is not the enemy.”
- Raising a special heart child tests my emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual life that goes beyond my strength. It affects Elliot too as a heart sibling when there’s an emergency. But I trust God will fill in the gaps. Through Ellis’ condition however, we have been blessed in tremendous ways rather than hindered by obstacles. Yes, it’s tough all around with social
- constraints that seem like excuses. I’m always apologizing that we can’t do this or that. But people are gracious to understand and still invite us.
- We begin homeschooling and are in the middle of our fourth year. It’s an exciting learning journey and kids mainly lead in what they want to learn. But I won’t lie. There are days when I feel outnumbered, out stretched, ready to call the whole thing off. Too much flexibility and freedom can paralyze decision making. I feel it a privilege to homeschool and I’m learning do much as well.
- I start blogging in 2017 with lots of doubts. Thankfully, I have found an amazing community of other bloggers, made new friends, and kind of badgered my old friends to follow me to pull up my follower numbers. Thankfully, they accepted and still encourage me by reading and commenting.
- I get help for depression and anxiety. It’s the worst kind of agony to go through when you feel that the world would be a better place without you. It’s painful and isolating but sharing this fear with loved ones makes it less daunting. This trial gives me more empathy for others going through similar emotions and teaches me that you can rarely tell what someone is going through just by their exterior.
- Realized the strong bond connecting family members. As with every family, issues and tensions test your patience, but at the end of the day, you love them dearly for who they are and what theymean to you. Now that I’m thinking about it, I could be that annoying person and not even know it. lol. 😉 No one is perfect.
- Friends and people we have met through our adventures affirm that God is always at work. God has a special plan in entrusting Ellis to our family and all four of us have grown in different ways. We have been repeatedly surprised by God’s goodness and faithfulness. We’re not exempt from the troubles, but He walks with us (or pulls/drags me gently) through the mucks of life.
- Growing deeper in faith and learning to be a bold follower. God is pretty awesome in that he hears me, provides for me, leads me, and teaches me (don’t like this one too much), and loves me despite my flaws. His grace is amazing.
If you’ve read this far, thank you! That became longer than I thought.
Wow, I also feel like I need to have earth-rumbling new year resolutions as 2020 will be here in 1 day. I’ve got a whole bunch brewing in the back of my head, but will I actually go through with it?? Instead of a list, I think it needs to be a shift in perspective or attitude. Need to think about this more.
“As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.” Psalm 138:3
And dear readers, thank you for your support, encouragement, and friendship! Incredibly blessed by this blogging community of most people I’ve never met. I didn’t know this place would be so conversational and inviting. Thank you again, and happy happy new year. Wishing you the best and good health in entering the start of a new decade!
Categories: Faith journey Personal growth
Welcome to my blog! My name is Esther and I'm so happy you are here. I'm an avid nature photographer and a daydreaming thinker. My posts revolve around photos of nature's beauty, homeschooling adventures with my 2 kids, sporadic reflections on my child's heart condition, Bible reading reflections, gardening feats, and other mish mash things. Hopefully you'll leave encouraged, pensive, or smiling at the simple things of life. Thank you for stopping by and hope you'll find some interesting posts to read!
May 2020 bring lot of health, faith, love, patience and strength to go thru whatever you find in your pathway. May you continue strengthening your spiritual life, enjoying your marriage life, blessings of being a mother and continue sharing with us. Blessed 2020!!!
You as well! Happy new year. Hope you and your family have one of the best years. We miss you and your infectious smile! Ellis says “hi!”
wonderful post to commemorate the decade.
ohm goodness – we have so much in common
my hubs name is Chris – and he is my forever and LOVE how you wrote this:L
he is the ice for my coffee that brings the drink to a perfect coolness.
oh that was so good.
and my kids are out of the house – but we had some years of homeschooling too (not by choice at first because I prefer school and structure – but we moved three times in 2 years and were almost having to move again — so we had to homeschool. That led to many years of it – but it was not easy – and we did sports year round – which was costly but helped our schedule and kept the kids fresh.
we also found lost of activities and then did what we needed.
and you are right – god is so faithful
He will always make a way
and He knows the harder path is to homeschool but sometimes it is a calling.
lastly, your comment about not always being like by your kids – reminded me when the founder of “MOPS” shared that her spouse was always the good guy and she was the bad guy. we tried to join “Mops” in the 90s but sadly all the ladies were so rude and bitchy. I love God – but my experience with the American Christian church has not always been enjoyable and so I draw big boundaries there.
and just remember that our children love parents equally – we just have different roles – and the best thing we can do is to not forget to be kind while doing tasks and covering things. I am sure you know this – but I se so many folks lose their kids essence on the process of doing life.