God is personal each time, though I forget almost each time

This morning I woke up to my cell phone ringing with a “Scam Likely” ID. Dismiss.

I rolled back into bed wondering how I would manage today, feed the kids, teach, etc. God, will I be a mess like I was yesterday? I had a bout of stomach spasm that feels like the effects of food poisoning that comes in a flash and diminishes in an hour or so. Whew, I had to call off everything and just lounge on the couch.

This sudden stomach issues happen every few months. It’s my body’s way of telling me to stop the restlessness, doing, and striving. Once I get close to checking off the list of things I needed to do this semester for the kids, my body reacts this way. I did not want a repeat of yesterday.

I started the day by cracking open my Bible and hoped God had something for me. Even though it’s a positive experience getting started is the hard part. I decided to read some Psalms and picked today’s date as the chapter to read, which I realized now is the 20th and not 21st. My goodness.

I kept reading and through Psalm 23, which is familiar to many. I’ve memorized this Psalm written by King David in my late 20s at a time when I had sporadic panic attacks in NYC subways. It felt like a death trap on rails. Because of this I preferred to walk than public transportation or when I had to go somewhere, I’d whisper this Psalm to myself and try to look normal as possible.

But today the 2nd verse stood out in blinking lights.

"He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength..." Psalm 23:2-3

God is very personal. I need just that, a renewing of strength that only God can provide. As though He wanted to make a point that my concerns are heard, I soon scrolled through my email and found that a friend had shared a Bible verse with me from her YouVersion Bible app.

It was a moment of simultaneous belief and nonbelief that here was the first verse of Psalm 23.

No trumpets sounded or the ground beneath rumbled, but God gently affirmed that He knows and hears me. It is okay to rest (whether mental, emotional, physical). Thanks J. for sharing part of Psalm 23 with me!! It was more than a coincidence.

Image sent from friend

Strength is not something even the strongest have in unlimited abundance; it’s not humanly possible although my skewed perception tells me it is for some people. Some days you need rest to renew; also, I don’t need to have Hulk-like strength to feel productive and enough.

Thanks for reading my God-meeting-me-where-I-am story today! I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and you find some moments to rest and renew yourself.