Disbelief and denial. Is May only a few days away?! It was just winter, now spring, and summer plans are already underway.
Time runs while I stroll. When I was younger, grown ups would wistfully comment how time passes too quickly for them. They’d say, “Enjoy this time, because living gets busy when you have to work and raise a family.” I still couldn’t wait to grow up and experience this fast passing of time.
Fast forward a few decades. I write the wrong year on forms or show up days early or days late. But for my kids, time passes too slowly. They huff and puff at night saying morning will never come, they never need rest, and that Christmas is like a billion years away. Their concept of time is enviable to me – only day-to-day things matter.
When Ellis refers to something from yesterday, she’ll say it happened when she was little or younger. I can’t help bursting into laughter. She refers to days as years, minutes in terms of millions, and months and weeks are just crazy things grown ups talk about. When future outings are discussed, she asks, “Are we leaving now?”
Actual days seem long, but in retrospect, time faithfully moves forward whether I’m conscious of it or not. I want to tell myself to do something today that I wanted to do yesterday or decide to embrace each moment as special, even in the mundane.
Who is this harsh voice in my head commanding me to save time, be productive, do something important (whatever that is) all the time? On days when the babysitter comes, I start stressing the night before about what I’m going to do with my time.
Does everything need to be productive? Why can’t I just enjoy driving alone or sit at a coffee shop doing nothing.
My compassionate side tells the drill sergeant in me to chill out. Just enjoy doing what I’m doing and stop judging it. So what if I dawdle? So what if my day is not compartmentalized neatly? So what if I don’t get all things done? (I usually don’t anyway)
I need to set down these worries and stop judging how I use time. It’s a hopeless struggle fighting with myself.
My kids teach me much about this. Seeing the lightheartedness of my kids and hearing their hilarious giggles over something inane show me that life is happening now and it’s a happy thing.
“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
Yes, belly laughs are allowed when a bubble comes out of your nose and you play the piano with your bottom. Say “poop” to turn that frown into a huge smile.
See it through the eyes of a child and everything is an experience not to be missed. This moment is a special gift from God that I’m alive.
“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31