What a week…rambling post. Had a point, then got off track.

It seems like there isn’t enough hours in the day to finish what needs to be done. For me, it’s the fear that I’m not making good use of my time; I should be doing more but I’m not. It’s some arbitrary scale I use to evaluate my usefulness. Very self-defeating. But when I pause to appreciate nature, mull over beautifully written words, or see the usual in a fresh perspective, I feel inspired to tackle my own craft.

I hope you take the time to refresh yourselves with the works of art, in whichever form, around you. God has given each of us unique talents and gifts that are all special. Some may be more visible while some are less noticeable. Nonetheless, they can all be used to glorify God!

Creativity is not only for the arts but for living one’s life well. It’s hard to feel creative as a homeschooling mom, but when I feel daunted by the day’s task ahead of me, I ask God for wisdom, energy charge, and enthusiasm. The effect is so subtle but I feel God bringing order into our chaos. I wish it were like this all the time, and it has a lot to do with my heart state.

This week has been unusually tough with more to do at home, pain management for my ongoing knee issue that is acting similar to sciatica, and with kids testing my patience.

Happy place. Remembering how peaceful and convenient it was to wake up at the hotel and take a short walk to Monterey Bay Aquarium. This was our yearly outing (the aquarium offers a free day for homeschooling families and members), but kids have developed a deathly fear of the gigantic whale sculpture there. Gonna take a few years before we make a return visit.

I wonder what in the world I’m doing and if any of it serves a purpose. They argue over trivial matters, want me to see everything they’re doing, or ask what else is there to eat for the umpteenth time (both have different preferences). All I want to do is curl up on the couch facing the wall. For the sake of everyone’s happiness and my sanity, the best thing would be for me to take a long nap and stop obsessing over irrelevant things.

This blog post was supposed to be about using our creativity to glorify God, but in writing it, I felt the need to share my thoughts. Tomorrow will be a better day and Advil hopefully will alleviate this body pain. Never realized how physical pain mars everything I do. More empathy for people living with chronic pain.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

Rest, rest, rest

Elliot is almost over his croup turned bronchitis from last week. It was obvious that he felt unwell when he took afternoon naps and had a loss of appetite. Overall, it was a busy week with doctor’s appointments, recovering, and taking various medications: antibiotics, steroids, over-the-counter pain reliever, and doing breathing treatments at home.

I took last week in stride and hoped that I wouldn’t get sick too. But last night I felt the first inklings of a cold: lightheaded, pounding head, achy body, and a yucky tasting cough. I consoled myself that at least Elliot was feeling better and Ellis hasn’t been throwing up. Ack! I got ahead of myself because Ellis felt queasy right after waking up and ran to the bathroom. Today was the first time she threw up without someone next to her.

The best scenario was resuming our regular activity schedule this week, but it’s having to be pushed back again. In the big scheme of things a few days will not break or put us behind since we can do make-up classes and still catch up to our lessons. But when I am tired, it makes those changes seem large and daunting. I wonder, where is my faith in all of this? God has brought me through challenges much bigger than this and I believe He can do it again.

Psalm 32:8

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
    I will advise you and watch over you.

At-home breathing treatment with nebulizer. It’s helped so much with his coughing.

Today has been a rough day. I’ve been dealing with cold symptoms, fatigue, and extreme guilt that I couldn’t help Ellis this morning. Other nagging thoughts: I’m inconsistent with homeschooling lessons and our learning environment is too scattered. I wonder how our learning journey turned into this burdensome task. It used to be an exploration of budding interests and having fun learning together. But once I put so much pressure on myself, it’s begun to lose its spunk.

“I love a broad margin to my life.”

Henry David Thoreau

I need to give myself some margin and enjoy this time with my kids.

Rest. Must rest. Need down time to recover.

It’s a daily lesson in surrendering my fears and insecurities to God: let go and let God. Another lesson is setting my priorities in order.

Psalm 37:7

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently or Him to act.”

Philippians 4:6

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”