Personal growth · Raising kids

So hard to be a mom

This is just some random thoughts about motherhood as I’m laying in bed unable to fall asleep.

It’s tough to be a fun, likeable, and patient mom a lot of times. To be like that most of the time is almost impossible.

I have unreasonable expectations of myself that I need to be this way and that as a mom. How do others make it seem so effortless?! Is it so?!

I’m feeling particularly vulnerable tonight with a cough that hurts my chest and feeling exhausted from arguing/ disagreeing with my 8-year-old son about daily life issies: fighting with his sister, who does what first, why does mommy do this or that, it’s not fair, I wish you’d, etc. All my insecurities surface and I blame myself for the these conflicts.

I know tomorrow will be a better day as I recover from this cold and begin fresh. A solution to this may be shifting my mindset that it’s inevitable that I’ll let my kids down. This is just a part of life, being human, and growing from mistakes. Whew…it’s hard stuff: growing pains for both kids and parents.

I try to remember that they are only young once and I try to enjoy this time. But when you’re in the thick of it with kids testing your limits and finding theirown personalities, you just want to be left alone to eat a whole bag of chocolate/ chips/ tub of ice cream in the comfort of a dark closet in the most stretchy pants ever.

Thanks for reading this far! I tried to write a bright and happy post because Christmas is a day away, and I didn’t want to be a party pooper. But I couldn’t. My heart is not there.

I’ll get in the spirit soon as I recover and have a long reconciling talk with my son tomorrow. Now I need to get some rest. Feeling better after I’ve shared. Thanks for reading!

Have a great Christmas eve and stay well during the holiday hustle and bustle!

10 thoughts on “So hard to be a mom

  1. Get some magnesium chloride (I like life flo brand and use the flakes) it has helped me keep a strong terrain!
    And as the the mom thoughts – keep
    Doing what you are doing and just give them your support and love – children don’t need perfection – they need us human and real and at least trying –
    It will trickle
    Into their soul when we love love love

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    1. Thank you for the suggestion of magnesium chloride. Will have to look that up. I got this cold from my kids and it’s lingering.
      Also, love your encouragement! I’m trying to be a good mom but it comes with many challenges…both good and bad. I will remember your words. Thanks again.
      Merry Christmas and stay well!!

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      1. Merry Christmas to you too – and remember – the days will pass before you realize it so be sure to find days of just enjoying your children – laugh more – time more times for stories – and time for hugs – it grounds the children and hells their body balance – 💜💜💜

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      2. I know that this time is short and before I know it they will be grown and doing their own thing. I need to just love and support them, because love does amazing things! Yes, enjoy them while they are at home and love to just be with us. Thank you for the insight…
        Hope Christmas is wonderful for you and your family!!

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  2. I promise there will be the day when you all enjoy each other as adults and they will love you and thank you for always be there with them. Have a blessed Christmas and hope you feel better soon.

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    1. I believe there will come a day when they realize that I was looking out for their best and not willfully making their life miserable. It’ll take a long time, but it’s worth the wait! Thank you for your encouragement and always showing me that kids grow up to be adults and to cherish these moments.
      Merry Christmas to you and stay healthy during the holidays!!

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  3. And you are an amazing force of nature Mother Ester! There isn’t a mother out there who doesn’t totally identify with you – you’re honest thoughts and insights are a gift to us all
    Have a beautiful Christmas – I know you willxxxp

    Sent from my iPad

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    1. As always, you cheer me on like no other since the old days!! I hope you remember how much you inspired me to be honest in my writing and about being real. The good days in NYC when we would talk for hours and take walks to the sakura park. I love those memories!! You are a special special friend.
      Lov ya and merry Christmas!!

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