Separation anxiety : Riley Clemmons’ song

My six-year old daughter, Ellis, still experiences separation anxiety. Yesterday morning I sat in the back of her science class because she refused to let me out of her sight. It’s been like this for months.

I used to think Elliot, now 8 years old, had worse separation anxiety than his sister, but I unintentionally overlooked Ellis’ in dealing with his. It could be that she is going through a phase too. It’s hard to know what’s really going on with kids each time they go through something. So many questions!! So many worries!!

My hypothesis is that her heart condition fuels her insecurity and separation anxiety. She’s always had me by her side, in good or bad times. When she feels sick, she won’t let me out of her sight. For her first two years, I couldn’t leave her longer than an hour. When she noticed I wasn’t there, she would cry inconsolably. I used to call these years my 5-mile-radius life.

When she was younger…dreading the check-ups. We usually came home crying together.

The mommy inside of me wants to be there for her as much as possible, but my needs get overshadowed. I worry about me getting sick and not being able to care for her. I can’t think about it for too long because I end up in a puddle of tears and worry. The worry spreads and these times I need the peace of God to cover an imminent panic attack. My weakness brings me closer to God.

Last month Elliot got sick with a middle-of-the-night- tummy ache. I stayed up all night comforting him. My body went through the care taking motions and comforting him through the night. He must’ve seen me walking to and fro bathroom to bedroom cleaning up and then dozing off on the floor. He apologized in the middle of his stomach ache for keeping me up that night, and even in my tiredness, my head told me to tell him it was okay and that I just wanted him to feel better. My mouth was moving but my emotions were flat.

The sun was rising and I let out a deep breath wondering how I would go about the day. The song “Fighting for me” by Riley Clemmons came into my head. It was comforting to sing the lyrics, to myself of course…it would’ve been too bizarre to break out into song at 5 a.m.

Yes, I can’t do it alone with my strength, but God can supernaturally fill in the gaps. In what fashion I didn’t know, but I know He has given me respite in surprising ways in the past. He will do it again.

“You will never stop fighting for me

When I can’t fight or myself

Every word is a promise you keep

Cause you love me like nobody else

You stand up for me

In the darkest night

When my faith is weak

You’re still by my side”

This song gave me the words when I didn’t know what to say. I’m terrible at remembering Bible verses, but song lyrics are much easier to recall when I need them.

5 Christian songs to raise your spirit

Hi everyone, the following is my latest list of favorite songs. I hope you get a chance to check them out and be blessed by them.

The lyrics are powerful and can raise your spirit when you feel bored, tired, discouraged, or just blah. Happy listening and hope you find a favorite song too.

1. Reason by Unspoken (Elliot’s favorite)

2. Up Again by Dan Bremnes (both kids hear this song on repeat; inspirational song)

3. Burn the Ships by King and Country (my favorite…powerful words and amazing music video)

4. Happy Dance by Mercy Me (this song makes repeat appearances on our list)

5. Let It Rain by Crowder (this song will have you snapping fingers and dancing in the car)

Have a wonderful start to a new week and enjoy the last week of September!

Stay safe on Halloween and enjoy the fun and treats.

Making meaning of this not-so-glamorous life of motherhood

Mommy life is full of growing pains along with your kids and it is NOT glamorous. It entails sorting piles of dirty laundry, cooking, cleaning after crumbs, getting annoyed by the sound of your own voice as you constantly tell the kids to brush their teeth, put on their shoes, stop jumping, etc.

Mother rubber duck leading several rubber ducklings
Getty Image from TIME Magazine website

One time my friend picked off dried rice pieces from my shirt at a bible study meeting. Last week I got annoyed with Ellis for losing the new nail polish I got from Target. I assumed she misplaced it after tinkering around with it on the drive home. Well, I didn’t expect to find it there but it was chilling out nicely in the fridge next to the carton of milk. As my kids would say in these situations: “doy- yoy- yoy-yoing.”

I thought it’s be fun to list some things I hear most often. Maybe you can relate and we moms can give ourselves a big hug: you’re not alone.

In the ellipses you fill in whatever your kids say most often. Each family dynamic is different and has a lot to do with kid’s and mom’s temperaments.

My list:

  • Could you..?
  • Can I…?
  • I need…
  • I want…
  • I wish you could…
  • I wish we could…
  • Do we have to…?
  • I don’t want to…(followed with huffing and puffing)
  • You always want us to…
  • You should’ve…
  • I’m hungry. What do we have…? (I prepare a lot of meals because of Ellis’ medication for weight gain issues)

I pray that today we moms will have enough patience and grace to pick the right battles with our little peeps. I so need to be encouraged that each day makes a difference in our lives and that it’s not wasted time. It is a beautiful thing that kids love us back with those trusting eyes and will forgive so easily even when we are feeling the effects of hanger and exhaustion.

Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Do Everything” lyrics speak to me on those days when I’m still in my pj’s and cooking the 5th meal of the day.

Do Everything

Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the fifteenth time today
Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away

You put a baby on your hip
Color on your lips and head out the door

While I may not know you
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long

As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause he made you
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

Another day and praying us moms glorify God in raising our kids and loving them for who they are.

A child can teach an adult three things. To be happy for no reason. To always be curious. To fight tirelessly for something...Paulo Coelho
Kaleidoscope Behavioral Health

5 kid-approved Christian songs to add to your summer play list

Here are 5 songs you may enjoy and play on repeat!

  1. Prize Worth Fighting For by Jamie Kimmett
  2. Symphony by Stitch (Ellis’ favorite)
  3. Even then by Micah Tyler (Elliot’s favorite)
  4. Who you say I am by Hillsong Worship (Suh family favorite)
  5. Scars by I Am They (Three Musketeers’ favorite (meaning me and the kids)

One of my favorite songs is “Prize Worth Fighting For” by Jamie Kimmett. His inspiration for this song (as heard on K-Love) is about a friend who recently became disabled from an accident and now uses a wheelchair: even basic tasks, that able-bodied people take for granted, is a daily struggle to do.

This song reminds me that it’s not just physical limitations but other life challenges that are insurmountable by ourselves (and boy, are there many!). We need God leading us through those insecure times when we make difficult decisions, confront our fears, and walk in faith.

Part of the lyrics for Jamie Kimmett’s song:

When every day is just another struggle
And every choice is an act of war
Gotta pray, gotta press on
To the prize worth fighting for
When it feels like I’ll never make it
When my heart’s crying out for more
Gotta pray, gotta press on
To the prize worth fighting for

Your love is my reward
The prize worth fighting for
Jesus, You’re worth my all

Another favorite song is “Who you say I am” by Hillsong Worship. This song became more special after Hannah, the kid’s babysitter, sang and played the song beautifully on the piano for us. Ellis sang like this song was her own.

It was refreshing to see her sing out loud and with confidence. Her new voice (raspy and low) that is from vocal chord nerve damage from her heart surgery has been an ongoing issue for her. But that afternoon you wouldn’t have sensed any doubt as she sang along with one of her favorite people. Below is the song’s chorus:

In my Father’s house
There’s a place for me
I’m a child of God
Yes I am

I am chosen
Not forsaken
I am who You say I am
You are for me
Not against me
I am who You say I am

Hope you get a chance to check these songs out! Have a great day as we head into a very warm summer.