Thank you to everyone for your kindness thoughtfulness and encouragement! It gives us that extra boost of strength to keep carrying on even when it gets tough knowing that we have people cheering us on.
Yesterday, we were in the ER from 2 p.m. until 10:30 p.m. when we finally got admitted and transferred upstairs into the cardiac floor. Some nurses recognized us and one of them we’ve known since Ellis was a toddler. It’s a strange reassuring feeling to be back and to dive right back into the routine of hospital life. By the time I settled in for bed, it was 2 a.m. Thankfully, she did not vomit once we got up to the room, only retching.
It’s been a long day of treating her nausea and retching. Her constant deep breathing terrifies me, but it seems to be her way of coping with the nausea. I hear it constantly and my heart sighs. I wish it wouldn’t bother me so much. It’s not a bother really but a constant audible reminder that something is not right and she is uncomfortable.
(A quick note: The baby patient next door is having “Happy Birthday” sung to him…he’s a sweet baby who was sitting in his high chair shaking a maracas during his music therapy session today).
I ordered various foods for Ellis from the hospital menu today hoping to stir up her appetite but nothing had really worked except a strawberry/ pomegranate fruit ice cup. Hoping tomorrow is the day she perks up and the nausea subsides. If she does, we’ll be able to go home. This morning the attending doctor asked us if we felt confident Ellis could go home today. Doctors here give parents a lot of say in discerning their kid’s condition and overall health plan. Previously, she would’ve wholeheartedly agreed that she was okay to go home despite not feeling completely well.
I’ve noticed she has matured this past year, because she reluctantly admitted that she wasn’t ready to go home. When she seemed to have a bit of a relief in the ER, the doctor asked if she felt be ok to go home. Ellis looked at me and said, “I don’t think I can hack it out at home.” This is a new side of Ellis I’m seeing. Her crying has been limited too…only cried when Chris and Elliot came to visit this afternoon. But she didn’t cry when we said “goodbye” to them by the garden exit, which it usually did in the past.
The rescue med that I’ve been raving about this past year didn’t do the trick this time. Yesterday morning, I freaked out when she turned pale and got lethargic with that deep breathing that I missed that window of opportunity to nip it in the bud. She has another preventative medication but my mind just blanked out and fizzled. I should’ve known something was wrong when she kept giving me that bland smile, which is her way of reassuring me that she’s ok even when she’s not. She also wasn’t talking much and her movements tense and small indicating she was uncomfortable. I missed those signs until the cyclic vomiting episode started.
Well, this will be our 2nd night here. At least now she’s sitting up and not retching after another round of nausea medication. The deep breathing still persists.
Hard as it is, I know that God has given me and Chris this special and fragile to raise. We have gone down to the pits of our hearts and sat there in the dark scared to admit our worst fears to even each other since she was born.
Loving is hard and heartbreaking. It breaks me to love when the fear of the unexpected startles me yet I know that God is blessing our family through these hardships. We each carry our own burdens…I know Ellis’ condition creates some kind of emotional burden for Elliot too but that’s part of his life story that I believe God will use greatly in his life. In light of God’s faithfulness and his mercy, we keep going one day at a time.
15 responses to “Some thoughts. Still in the hospital for cyclic vomiting.”
Sending extra prayers 🙏 and extra hugs 🤗
I hope Eli’s feels better soon! Hang in there dear sweet friend!
Thank you! She’s doing much better now and in better spirits. When we were in there, we just resigned ourselves to passing the days as best as we could; without getting upset that we were staying longer than expected, reminding ourselves that one time we stayed 10 days and this was nothing.
Sending love to your family. God has got this under control. Also, I love that hospital room. It looks so nice.
Thank you so much, Abigayle! God so has everything under control and He comforts us when we’re in there and when we feel disheartened.
The children’s hospital is both modern and inviting. We especially appreciate the single rooms where parents have a daybed and a nice window to look out to different parts of the hospital, depending on your room location. It makes a big difference in the healing experience to be in a warm, colorful, and inviting space.
Oh, darlin- not again! I thought she was doing so well. Do they know what the trigger is? xx
Tell me about it! She was doing so well. There were triggers throughout the year, but it never progressed to a hospitalization because we used her rescue medicine and was able to nip it in the bud; around every 6 weeks. But this time, it just happened too quickly and once the episode begins, it’s difficult to abort it with just medicine at home.
Triggers are tiredness and anxiety. If her appetite slows down and she doesn’t finish her meals, that’s a clear sign that something is not right. It takes a lot of vigilance and this time I clearly missed the opportunity to nip it quick.
🌼🙏🏼❤️✝️ Sending prayers for swift healing ❤️🩹
Sending warm thoughts, rainbow hugs and cheerful sunshine to the both of you. It is so hard to watch our children grow up in front of us and mature, beginning to realize their own minds and thoughts. You are raising a beautiful, strong young woman. You are raising a kind and considerate son. You are doing an awesome job. 🙂
Thank you so much, Jay-Lyn, for your thoughtful and encouraging words!! It is hard to watch our kids grow up but is also rewarding to see them mature and develop their own personalities. I know you know with your son…he must be so grown now!
17. First job. Practicing how to drive so he can go for his license. It is hard to believe that next year he enters adulthood. I am still struggling with that. LOL
Thank you for the update on how Ellis is doing. She has a very loving family who will help see her through each setback.
Thank you, Liz, for your sweet comment! We try our best to help her weather these experiences, and we all learn and grow from them too; not willingly but we have to make something positive of them. There’s a lot of trauma bonding between siblings and it’s rewarding to see them care for each other deeply.
You’re welcome, Esther! Having a loving family makes all the difference!
I hope you get all the help you need.
Thank you, Sherry! The hospital is the best place to get the care she needs when these episodes occur. We don’t like to be there, but I know that I can’t help her the same way at home, so it’s best to stay patient and get well in that safe setting.