I was wondering why I felt more discomfort emotionally than usual last week. It dawned on me this morning.
I’ve been having to advocate for Ellis and I’m not a confrontational person. I try to avoid conflict whenever possible. But when you are taking care of your child, you’re forced into positions to speak up and to advocate for better care.
I’m vocal and more willing to advocate when we are in the hospital, but in a non-emergency setting, it’s difficult. And to maintain composure as I’m trying to model healthy advocacy for my children, showing them that you can handle it professionally, calmly, and thoughtfully: when internally, all my resistance alarms are setting off. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
It’s been 2 stressful things going on with the new therapist and the pharmacy. I’d let things slide but they need to be addressed. My comfort level is beyond stretched and I’d rather not. It requires a lot of phone calls and emails.
With the new therapist, we’re not developing a good rapport. It’s a personality mismatch. I just reached out to the cardiology team to ask what I should do and how I should proceed. Getting to a point of deciding if we should even ask for a new therapist has involved a lot of conversation and tears from Ellis as she is not happy with the therapy sessions so far.
So I’m put in a position to stand up vocally and to advocate for change. Not my forte. But I do it for the sake of my little lady.
17 responses to “Self-discovery”
That’s what we mothers do. I’ve realized that not all therapists are created equal, and there is nothing wrong with asking for someone else. That was a very hard lesson to learn because I’m not assertive either, and I hate confrontation.
Your comment gave me so much reassurance and encouragement!! Thank you so much. You articulated it well by using the word “assertive.” That word better fits the description of what I struggle with. Knowing that I’m not alone helps. You are right: there is nothing wrong in asking for another therapist. I guess she got word that I had reached out to the cardiology team because she contacted me to have a one on one session without Ellis. I wasn’t prepared for it, so I agreed. But I will reach out to her this week and cancel and tell her that I need a referral for a different therapist. I talked to Chris and he was firm: no is a no. If I don’t feel it’s a good fit, then it’s a “no.” So here we go to the next stage of developing assertiveness. 🙂
With Chris’s support, I know you can get to the next stage of assertiveness!
You are stronger than you think you are Esther – never doubt that. I think you should credit yourself with having tenacity and liken yourself to this flower by the mailbox.
Thank you, Linda!! You always encourage me. Ellis’ new year resolution was to give herself more credit for the things she does…I need to borrow hers too.
That’s a good new year’s resolution – maybe we all need to adopt that resolution. How is the baking coming along? I know you’ve had other things going on, but I know Ellis liked baking.
You do what you have to, for Ellis. And you know you will xx
Thank you, Jo, for your vote of confidence!!
Ah. This is such a stressful situation. I’m in total agreement regarding advocating for your child’s healthcare and the emotional toll that takes on a mom. Dealing with an issue with the orthodontist/dentist/endocrinologist/gp/lab/etc. will usually end with me in a self sequestered time-out in my room in tears. It’s a lot Esther. You’re doing a great job! You’re a really good mom! 💕
I know what you mean!! I totally felt what you meant in the “self-sequestered time-out” in tears. Those situations can be so emotionally charged as you are dealing with a stressful situation and to deal with different personalities in the medical field. Advocating is hard and you really need to speak up because we know our children best.
Thank you for your encouraging comments!! God’s grace.
I hope you can get the support you need. Are there support groups for parents of ill chlildren?
Thank you! There are support groups but I have not looked into any. There are facebook support groups but I’m not sure how helpful they are. But that’s a great idea to ponder.
Praying for a turnaround by God’s goodness ❤️🙏🏼❤️
Thank you! It got better as the week went on. Not all is resolved but God is giving me the patience to wait and the boldness to advocate even when it gets uncomfortable.
Esther, you are a great parent. May God give you strength, peace, and wisdom as you deal with the medical care for Ellis.
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s only because of God that I can be a good and patient parent. It’s a tough journey navigating the medical care and trying to have a normal life, but it’s the life that God has called us to.
I can’t even imagine how difficult the journey you are going through with Ellis is. Always remember that there are friends trying to help hold your arms up through prayer when we can’t be right there with you.