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It’s been a while…some life ramblings

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve spent a good chunk of time on my blog and visiting blogger friend’s sites. Life has been leaving me in its dust as I feel up to my neck with homeschooling and caretaking.

Another reason for my inactivity is sharing my computer with Ellis; she’s been using it more for her Zoom classes, math lessons, and playing games. Conclusion: get an extra computer. Chris and I thought Ellis could share with me, but her uses take precedence. She is growing up. Too fast. Although for her, she may think one day feels like a year. I’d like to feel that way too.

Every morning I sigh thinking of how many meals I’ll need to make, motivating kids (or in real life, explaining that I’m not trying to make their life miserable by asking them to do lessons), quelling disagreements, caring for kid’s needs, squeezing in precious time for my nap or sanity breaks, and going to doctor’s appointments for my ongoing hip pain and Ellis’ many check-up visits.

Beginning of the year usually makes homeschooling stressful. It’s midyear and time to plough through the rest of the school year well and meeting our learning goals. Life gets in the way and learning takes time. Being the main teacher places urgency and pressure on me. I’m my own boss and worst critic. Kids have biased feedback about me as a teacher depending on their moods and much they can have their way.

I wanted to let you know that I’m not ignoring the blogging sphere; it should get better later this month.

I’ve been trying to be more understanding that kids have stresses too that are their own. These instances remind me that I need the holy spirit to keep me on track. I need wisdom and direction to navigate the day well. (Side note: I failed miserably one week ago when kids kept pushing my buttons and questioning every thing I did). I’ve never heard the deafening silence in our home when I wanted to prove a point to the kids that I’m serious about them doing their daily lessons. I got so upset that I dumped school supplies into the trash. Not proud of what I did and cried for handling the situation rashly.

Left pic: how I feel most days: Right: how I want our teamwork to look like most days

I’m already dreading the tween years. Some friends are raising tweens and they have stories of kid’s mood swings, testing boundaries, arguments, and self identity crises for both teen/s and parent/s. I empathize with parents and caregivers who have navigated the tangled world of raising children and helping them to learn how to use their wings well and safely.

Thanks for reading my random ramblings! Wishing everyone a good Thursday.

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singlikewildflowers

Welcome to my blog! My name is Esther and I'm so happy you are here. My posts revolve around the beauty of nature, homeschooling adventures, Bible reading reflections, gardening feats, and life as a daydreamer and nature observer. Thank you for stopping by and hope you'll find some interesting posts to read!

18 replies

  1. I am totally dreading teenage years too… hopefully they aren’t as bad as we are anticipating! Miss you guys …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Sharon, happy you stopped by!
      Time is passing quickly and our kids are not small kids anymore. To think teenage years are approaching gives me migraines. I cannot imagine how I would deal with a teenager like me. I was a rebel and tried to do the opposite of whatever my parents told me. Now that I’m in the other position, yikes!! We need Jesus’ help and wisdom to navigate those years well.
      Miss you too and your family! Love seeing your Insta pics and updates.

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    1. I know what you mean! Homeschooling gets hard on some days and even weeks. But once we get over that hump, things look brighter.
      We were all feeling the effects of too many zoom classes and for me the pressure of covering their grade level goals. I don’t think we ever meet all of them so we keep on going through the summer. lol.
      I hope you guys are hanging in there this mid semester. It’s crazy to think that we have less than 10 weeks of school left. Hang in there and let’s finish strong wherever we are. Isn’t that the beauty of homeschooling…go at your own pace?!
      Great to hear from you. Take care and happy weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sure you are doing a wonderful job with your kids Esther. You are hard on yourself, but you have a lot on your plate and COVID’s long duration and our new normal is zapping our collective spirits, little by little. Take care of yourself because you are the hubbub of your home and everyone depends on you more than you know.

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    1. Linda, you articulated it perfectly. COVID is our “new normal” and “zapping our collective spirits.” I tell myself that we’re doing pretty good despite the circumstances but when you’re stuck at home all the time it gets stressful. Everywhere and almost everything I do I have 2 eager and complaining pals with me.
      Your encouraging words lifted my spirit!! Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts and reassurance. I’m going to remember this message.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, you are the center of everyone’s world whether you know it or not Esther … sure Chris is the breadwinner and I’m sure he shares in child-rearing and the many responsibilities a house and a family entails, but you are “it” – just you … and so YOU have to hear the helpings of praise as well as the “Oh mom!” disgruntled comments or dissatisfaction all day long, every day.

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      2. I appreciate your lovely comment! Thank you. I needed to hear that and to know that I’m doing something important with my life. Sometimes I lose sight of that in the midst of many mundane tasks day in and day out.
        Some days I love it and others I dread all that I need to do. But I thank God for this privilege to take care of my family; something I need to remember on the tough days.
        Thanks again for your encouraging words!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are welcome Esther and it’s important to remember that when you are exhausted and feel overwhelmed, especially during this week … International Women’s Week.

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      4. Thanks Linda! It seems like a nonstop thing to raise kids. When I didn’t have kids, I assumed that mother discussions about having little time to eat or bath were talking nonsense. Boooyyyy, was I mistaken. It’s hard to eat after cooking the fourth meal of the day and when you finally sit on the couch, they tell you how bored they are.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ha ha – having never had kids, nor siblings, and not even babysat, I’ve never been around kids, so it is always a mystery to me about rearing kids. I think you deserve a gold star for your patience – that is for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Thank you! I will put that gold star into my parenting evaluation folder.
        I wish you could have some experience to work or play with little people. They are fun, interesting, and and speak their honest minds. Maybe when Covid clear up, you could volunteer a few hours a week at a childcare center, hospital, school, etc. No pressure of course. Just think you would get much of the experience and kids will find a good friend in you.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I have actually never been around kids – ever, as my mother and her brother were estranged, so I only saw my cousins, which were around my age, when my grandfather died – they never came to my grandmother’s funeral which I thought was awful. My father had no siblings. And I didn’t babysit. I could try to volunteer at something when retired, but I’d probably do better interacting with animals. 🙂

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      8. Oh man, family relationships are tricky. I also have estranged family and it’s sad that cousins miss out on building relationships because of issues between two families. I agree about the funeral; sounds like lots of unresolved issues, pain, anger, and misunderstanding. It seems every family has broken relationships.
        On a lighter note, your idea of working with animals sounds great too!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sending so much hugs. I related to you so much here. My son is not even old enough to talk yet but just hitting those “terrible twos” stages. Im running behind myself, so I hope you’re feeling a bit better now! 💗

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    1. Thanks for the hugs! Raising kids, no matter the age, is fraught with challenges, joys, and surprises. God help us through every stage. It hasn’t been that long but that season is like a blur. My son fell off his high chair few months before his 2nd bday and had elbow surgery. A few months later when he was home with the babysitter, he jumped off the couch and broke his elbow in the same place: another surgery and pins in his elbow.
      I am feeling better now. Sometimes I go through that funk and everything seems off and gloomy. Hope you are well too and you ride the “terrible twos” out like a champ. Hugs back to you.

      Liked by 1 person

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