sing like wildflowers

The situation with my mom’s sickness is getting out of hand, so to speak, in my mind. I won’t get into the specifics because it’s too fresh for me and it’s not yet resolved. If some resolution occurs, I will share later.

As you all know from my previous posts, I am the phone call person who is almost always available and on call to help. I hear a lot of things from both parents that shakes me to the core; years of dysfunction. I have to filter out to get to the main issue. It’s mental gymanstics.

How do I help and maintain objectivity without being emotionally manipulated and affected?

I can only trust in God and seek Him in all this, because it’s over my head. I also have my family to raise and schooling responsibilities that need my attention. Today, I finally said in my head: this might be rock bottom for me. Whew. Possibly the worst year for me.

I’ve had uber challenging years in the past, but ultimately love for Ellis made me overlook the difficulties that her medical emergencies created. it was hard but our family kept together with the same mindset that we are a team and we can get through this together.

In this situation, I’m looking into a parental drama unfolding with me being tossed emotionally and yet still being asked to remedy their issues and needs. They are a broken team. I don’t think it’s fair to your kid to do this…no matter the age. It cuts deeply.

This is perhaps too honest to share but my heart has been heaving heavily today. I don’t know what to feel and who to help in which ways while protecting my sanity too. Yet I feel for their struggles too. I need to let go and let God do this thing. What can I do to change the course of anything?! I must stick to my faith and let

God do his thing.