sing like wildflowers

Hi everyone,

I’ve completely fallen off the  blogging wagon for about 2 weeks now. We went to visit her and our visit got extended as her condition worsened when she was home from the hospital: lack of appetite, aches and pains, weakness and extreme fatigue, vomiting, and general malaise. It was looking bleak. I’d sit by her at night, fan her with a paper plate, and massage her for blood circulation until she’d fall asleep for minutes and then wake up again. All she wanted was her catheter to be removed. The home health nurse did remove it but that didn’t solve the problem. Then, she’d feel better for a few hours and then go right back to feeling miserably weak.

Her discomfort was difficult to witness and it shook everyone up with fear and frustration. She’s been through so much since June! At one point, we were floating the idea of hospice care at home: anything to give her comfort.

She’s now in the ICU and getting treated for a UTI that is a resistant organism. When she came in to the ER on Saturday night, they diagnosed her with blood pressure shock. She’s on some strong medication and another catheter.

I’m here to pick up any call and talk to the doctors and nurses anytime. I was doing terrible emotionally earlier in the week and a talk with my psychiatrist led to increasing the dose on my antidepressants while this health drama unfolds for my mom. I was trying to decrease it over the past 2 months, which probably wasnt the best timing.

It’s been a trying time and still is. God is in this turbulence and I believe He is with me through it all. When we were with my parents, it was good to reconnect in person and to be of assistance to them. It was all God who helped carry me with physical strength. This has been a recovery week and I’m learning to let go and have realistic expectations.

What a year it is for me. Wow, I thought 2025 was tough with Ellis’ many hospitalizations. Thankfully, Ellis is doing well and we haven’t had to use her rescue medication in a few weeks. That medication has kept her out of the ER and her cyclic vomiting from getting triggered.

We’ve been trying to catch up on our homeschooling and trying to live life as well as we can. I know kids see me sad and I feel terrible they feel the weight of it. Yesterday we went to the mall and feelings were low. Decided to go into a selfie shop and take some silly pictures. Gave us some smiles and joy! Take out dinner was also a big mood booster!