My kids despise hearing me say “No” to them. They think it’s a personal attack on their being as though I had cursed them out or something to that degree.
I understand that it’s not the easiest word to hear or accept no matter the age. But how can you avoid not saying or hearing it?
I could use my softest voice, but it still gets them sad, mad, frustrated, or even teary eyed. It’s baffling. I tell them it’s my job as mom to say “no,” because I know what’s good for them and I have more life experience to make better decisions. (omg, I sound exactly like my parents!!)
It would be much easier to comply and say “yes” to all their demands, but that wouldn’t be in their best interest making me an irresponsible parent.
So I asked them to give me a thumbs up or down on me using different tones to say “no.” None got approved.
Usually, I don’t raise my voice, but according to them, I’m yelling while fuming smoke of my ears. So Elliot came up with a “brilliant” (his words, not mine) idea to wave a “no” sign instead.
Guess what? I made little signs for each of us to wave while we do school lessons. One side says “no” and the other says “yes.” This won’t last long; but for today, it diffused conflict, gave me something crafty to do, and generated some wild laughs.
“No is a complete sentence and so often we forget that.” – Susan Gregg
This conversation reminds me of how miffed I get towards God when I think he’s saying “no” to me. Raising kids makes me aware of how our parent/child relationship reflects our relationship with God. If I want good for my kids, how much more does our holy God have for us. I need to trust his promise when things aren’t going my way and interruptions drive me crazy! In retrospect, I’m so grateful that he said “no” to some of my prayer requests: I had no idea what I was asking or hoping for.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 12:11