- update after post was published – feeling better and storm has calmed. letting go, taking a break by relocating to another room, and some reluctant showing of empathy have smoothed things over
- When the day goes whack…
Kids give me the stank eye. I ask what they want to eat, and I hear sighs. eeeek. The small one goes inside her fort and tells me to stay away. Tears because the older one told her not to make a big deal of something. Tears, thumbs down, and whispering in my ear of how older brother is not the boss of her. Then, the older one asks me if he could say “no” to a homework task today.
Trust me, I’m sighing prolifically inside. God, I trust you’ll turn our funky attitudes around this afternoon. He’s got a plan and I’ll worship Him even though…God’s in charge!
And tbh, I’m mad at myself for still needing prescription medication for depression and anxiety. I’ve been having trouble contacting the psychiatrist for a refill this week and to have this burden makes me angry and sad. Gosh, I wish this were not the case. Every time I take the medicine, I put myself down and wonder what a fool I am for still being on medication. I hate to bother Chris to pick up my medications and to deal with these refill issues. Again, God’s in charge!
*just writing how I feel and not to get sympathy.
This issue reminds me of a powerful excerpt I read in Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon. Here’s a copy and paste of it from the book, p. 60.
Anyways, holding onto faith God will show up in mighty ways and strengthen my shaky faith.
Welcome to my blog! My name is Esther and I'm so happy you are here. I'm an avid nature photographer and a daydreaming thinker. My posts revolve around photos of nature's beauty, homeschooling adventures with my 2 kids, sporadic reflections on my child's heart condition, Bible reading reflections, gardening feats, and other mish mash things. Hopefully you'll leave encouraged, pensive, or smiling at the simple things of life. Thank you for stopping by and hope you'll find some interesting posts to read!