We’re still working on checking off Ellis’ long list of appointments! Yesterday was a long day of appointments where we’re shuffled from one room to another to meet different doctors. Thankfully, we are done for this month. Good news is that she’s stable and no changes in heart heart since last appointment. We like everything to stay the same; this means no changes to medications or new issues to deal with.
I can’t explain the feeling of comfort and familiarity when we get off the elevator to the lobby where we check in for badges: there’s an open entrance where you’re greeted with large windows from top to bottom and to the left through the window you see an expansive courtyard with wooden chairs and tables, trees with flowers, and an ocean themed playground. This entrance is the more relaxed one than when we limp our way into the brown and desolate ER entrance located on the on the other side of the hospital.
This airy and busy lobby entrance means we go home together that day and there’s no emergency. We still go in with high nerves of what we’ll hear, subconsciously each of us carry our own worries that we sometimes share with each other or don’t. We’re sleep deprived from the night before and feeling sensitive. Ellis cries at the slightest things or schedule change and I shut down from angst and stress. Yet we still feel comfort in being there, and even though Ellis is mad at me for whatever reason, she still reaches for my hand for comfort. This is trauma bonding. It’s emotionally exhausting and reassuring simultaneously. No wonder we come home and collapse on the couch.
10 responses to “Long day of appointments”
Good news that there are no changes in Ellis’ health and/or meds adjustments … keep up the good work ladies!
Thank you, Linda! We are so happy that nothing has changed. We want it to stay that way for a long time. We have to schedule a sleep study soon, but I’m dragging my feet on that one.
So happy to hear that there has been no changes! You two are beautiful. 🙂
Thank you, Jay-Lyn! We’re so pleased with the results too.
You have articulated your thoughts and feelings perfectly here, Esther. As I was reading your post, I felt like I was a tiny fairy sitting on your shoulder. In my heart I could feel you and Ellis. And I could see your surroundings in my mind.
It is similar to how I feel with my own doctor’s appointments without all the beauty of the environment. The facility I go to is depressingly drab and draining of energy. But I get through it knowing that I get to go home after my appointments.
It is very sweet that Ellis still appreciates holding your hand. Your daughter is precious. I noticed that you both were wearing denim and grey comfy shirts. The selfy photo is fabulous!!
When I was in my forties my stepfather said to me, “You are your mother’s daughter.” At the time I had no clue what he meant. It is true. I had so much of my mother within me; and even now at 65 years old I still see my mother within me.
It is absolutely wonderful that all tests proved stability status for Ellis! Hope you have a mellow weekend!! ❤️
Thank you, TD, for your encouragement! I’m so happy you pointed out that you could feel that you were part of our appointment. I tried really hard in this post to convey the environment and feelings as much as I could through writing.
I know what you mean about the doctor’s visits and them being in drab buildings. The ER is like that. I wonder if children’s hospitals make it more inviting since they cater to children.
We always try to take a selfie when we go to document it and it’s fun to see how much we have changed over the years…more for her than for me. I need time to stop a bit. lol
We carry our mothers in our hearts! I laugh like my mom these days. It just came out of nowhere.
Ellis seems like such a trooper, she just seems to take it in her stride, I really admire that.
Thank you!!
I’m so glad to great that the appointments went well! The hospital wing sounds really nice. I think esthetics really do make a difference, especially when you’re doing something stressful.
Yes, they make it very welcoming and comforting! The directions inside the hospital are pointed out with animals or special objects that make navigating the space user friendly, like the bear statue, the trains, etc.
Thank you, friend! I’m so thankful the appointments went well and we don’t have any pressing issues. Thank the Lord!