Personal growth

When pain gets you thinking

Growing older is not for the faint of heart. I’m realizing this with every new ache, realization that I don’t have abundant energy, and bodily changes happening to me.

I’ve had knee pain in the past but nothing awful to warrant a doctor’s appointment. But I thought ‘what the heck? My deductible is paid, I’ll get it checked out.’ A practical move.

X-ray showed some kind of bony defect where a piece of bone has wandered away from its original spot. This impedes circulation and creates pain. Now I’ll be getting an MRI for clarification of what’s really going on. This condition requires physical therapy, and possibly surgery. Doctor mentioned seeing a Sports Medicine physician, which is hilarious because I don’t play any sports!

My mother in law says, “I know what it’s like to be young, but do you know what it’s like to grow old?” I used to roll my eyes at this comment but that’s changing. No, I don’t know and I’m clumsily navigating it now and hopefully have long ways to go. It’s a frustrating task both emotionally and physically. A friend told me that the saying on her grandmother’s wall plaque helps her to see the bigger picture: “aging is a privilege denied to many.” Ain’t that the truth?!

Just like every life phase, forties has its challenges, questions, and joys. It’s a good thing if nothing breaks, doesn’t hurt, and keeps moving. Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, but a lot of my friends share this same sentiment with me: tinge of sadness to the process of getting older and gripping new life challenges and changes.

But I’m learning how to do it gracefully, with some hiccups here and there. The other day seeing a new line on my face made me sigh. I said “Oh. My. Gosh!” More loudly than I thought, because my kids kept asked what was wrong.

But there’s much happiness to getting older too. You appreciate more, develop a better sense of humor, empathize more, and be more comfortable in your skin. When I goof around at home ad sing or dance dramatically, Elliot laughs but ends by telling me only to do that home. It would embarrass him if I did that in public. That kind of freeness comes with age I believe. Thank you for the compliment…

I know I’m not alone feeling like this. Middle-aged friends, let’s do this well and have some fun with it!

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” —Madeleine L’Engle

“The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” ~ William Wordsworth

Having a silly selfie moment
Playing around with sticker features

And God is good through it all!! Through all the life seasons…there are some low valleys, and I’m there often, but I’m so glad God is my helper and peace giver.