sing like wildflowers

My full and kooky life as a homeschooling mommy to 2 great kids, raising a child with HLHS (Hypolastic Left Heart Syndrome), coping with depression, following Jesus, and being much too camera happy.

  • Btw, it has come to my attention that those who follow me via email received an earlier edit of this post. Something is going on with my phone and WP, so please ignore the untitled one.
    Read this one instead. Thanks!

    Quick note: This post was written in between breaks with Ellis sitting on my lap at the hospital lobby. To keep myself from exploding at the unreasonable wait time, I blogged instead. November 28, 2018

    What a week it’s been. Ellis got discharged ftom the hospital last Wednesday and the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend went smoothly, like really well. Today is next Wednesday and we were back at the pediatrician’s office. And we just finished getting an ultrasound at the hospital. Ellis screaming in pain intermittently over her stomach spasms. No explanation.

    I’m not a runner by no means, but today I ran. I parked my car in the red zone because the valet parking line was so long. I figure the valet person would understand and take my keys. Whatever!! If she didn’t take my keys, then I would have just left my keys on the counter or risk getting towed. I ran holding her in my arms with her brown bear blanket draped over my shoulders.

    My demeanor screamed “get out of my way!” You wouldn’t want to mess with a crying mother with her purse dangling from her neck holding a sick kid barfing into a grocery bag. Amazing how things don’t matter when you’re in an emergency and when your child is crying in pain. You don’t care. You don’t see. You just aim for the front doors and for immediate help.

    I won’t get into the details of registration hell.

    Tentative prognosis: inflamed pancreas. We’re admitted again to the same hospital. What a day. Pain med has kicked in. She’s not so angry with me now. It’s going to be a long couple of days.

    New update: not pancreas issue. It’s probably residual virus from last week. This requires a blood draw. But white blood cell count is normal; probably not a virus or infection. Another blood draw: maybe toxicity from one of her heart medications. Nope, not that either. She held onto her blue throw up bag all day.


    Every late autumn to early winter since her birth, she’s had some kind of sickness that landed us in the hospital or pediatrician’s office.
    1. 1st year: hospitalization for rsv.
    2. 2nd year: hospitalization for norovirus.
    3. 3rd year: bad cold…recuperated at home. Awful coughs that made her blue and gaggy. Tearful experience for me.
    4. 4th year: emergency room visit and frantic meeting with cardiologist over head contusion from falling out of carseat, not good with her Coumadin medication. Then, she caught Chris’ stomach bug on top of that.
    5. 5th year: 2nd hospitalization for stomach bug or whatever it is in 1 week. Whew, I’m pooped. But I’m thankful her pain is managed. I was helpless at home.

    Not knowing the cause, we got transferred to Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital 10:30 p.m. They are familiar with Ellis’ history, so our adventure continued with an ambulance ride.

    No explainable cause from them either. Her stomach pain was still severe and she couldn’t lay down. I could do nothing but rub her back. I was running on fumes and all the new nurses and doctors in a bright room took me out of my comfort zone.

    A few hours later, she fell asleep without pain medication. Her condition started to improve. Sigh of relief.

    Elliot was managing well at home too. It makes me sad that he misses out on lots of things, but I trust God will fill in the gaps. His maturity astonishes me; although he’s been calling me every hour asking when we’re coming home.

    What a month. I had no idea November would bring all these ordeals. But I am thankful that I have Chris & Elliot, family, and friends who encouraged me when I felt overwhelmed. Elliot was a super trooper; he reminded Chris of all the things I asked him to bring to the hospital and ran a bunch of errands with daddy without complaining.

    On our last night at the hospital, we hugged goodbye outside the hospital room. Then he said that he wished he could spend the night at the hospital with us. Everyone giggled at his  comment, including the nurse.
    Pretty big room with a pull-out sofa for parent. The room size convinced Elliot that there was plenty of room for a sleepover.

    Have a healthy, blessed, and joyful holiday! Praying for peace and happiness.
    In these moments of being away from homeand feeling vulnerable, I kept praying to myself that I won’t fall apart or get sick. It seems selfish to think about me, but to caretake someone else I need to be well.

    Somehow in my desperate moments God pulls me through these challenges and gives me strength that I did not have. There’s no other explanation from it; the effects of coffee can only keep me running on auto pilot. God whispers comfort when things are spiraling out of control. He is a good God.
  • “The earth laughs in flowers.” 
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Daisies remind me of open fields and sunshine. Their simplicity is full of cheerfulness. 

    When Elliot was around 3 years old, our daily morning routine involved walking to Starbucks every morning. Our place was conveniently located right across the street from it, so this gave us time to walk, socialize, hang out, and learn to love the cafe culture. lol. Elliot became enamored with the row of daisies on the sidewalk and he picked one every day. To this day, when he sees a daisy and he’s in a happy mood, he’ll pick one for me and his sister to put in our hair.  

    Simple and cheerful
  • Happy Thanksgiving!! Wishing everyone a gratitude filled and memorable day with family and friends.

    For us it’s been a rough start to this week with Ellis suddenly getting sick with a stomach bug. All of Monday I hoped to manage the sickness at home, but she got stuck with a really wicked one. The vomiting persisted but the stomach spasms gave her too much discomfort. Even after her heart fix I did not see her in this much pain.

    Ended up at staying in the hospital for 2 nights. With her stomach bug, we were in isolation in the hospital room: whoever came into the room had to wear scrubs. But one wonderful thing was that the nurses made our stay as comfortable as possible. They are truly amazing people who don’t squint at things that would make someone else queasy.

    Also, the pantry had a beautiful Starbucks coffee machine…decked out in high tech: accessible all hours of the day. This coffee machine took the edge off for me and I was relieved that I wouldn’t get stuck with caffeine withdrawal headaches. Also, I was very thankful for our health insurance. The stress of not being insured in this situation would’ve wiped me out.

    20181122_1504054089334400212365103.jpg
    The superb Starbucks coffee machine

    I’m grateful for all the the nurses we encountered; their patience and care made all the difference. I’m grateful for our pediatrician, Dr. K., who has been an endless source of support, encouragement, and guidance since Ellis’ birth. What an amazing person she is; both my kids receive her care and they ask me to call her when they feel sick. Dr. K. checked up on Ellis the next morning at the hospital, and we lit up at the sight of her.

    On this Thanksgiving day, I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful for my friends. I’m grateful that I can stay in my pajamas all day and still my kids think I’m beautiful. I’m grateful that Chris is home and has been preparing meals for the kids.

    Thank you for listening to my gratitude list: there’s more but I won’t bore you with them.

    God is so good to give us a day of thankfulness to share!! Thank you readers and fellow bloggers for journeying with me.

    Psalm 9:1

    I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

    Philippians 4:6-7

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hears and your minds in Christ Jesus.

  • Thank you Cee for hosting this challenge…

    Cee’s Black & White Photo Challenge: Flowing Water

    Glass enclosure in the aquarium where you can stand underneath and see the rush of ocean water pumped over the glass arch. Nature never gets old. 

    “My soul is full of longing
    for the secret of the sea,
    and the heart of the great ocean
    sends a thrilling pulse through me.”

    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow